Finding Balance Again, Slowly

I remember when I used to train so I would look my best on stage. The life of a competitor is very selfish (not in a bad way, it needs to be). My needs were my priority.

Then God tapped me on the shoulder with a calling, “ Be the mom for those who don’t have anyone to care for them.”

My husband agreed, and we became foster parents.

Oh, life has changed.

There is a tiny portion of my day that is about me.

Having three kids under three years old, running a business, and home take up most of my time and energy.

I am not going to lie. Last year when we went from one to 3 toddlers overnight basically at the same time as we opened our new manufacturing facility and I lost myself for a while.

I was surviving and not living.

I still found joy in each day and moment. But I had no balance. My life became ALL about others and at the end of the day I had nothing left.

Slowly my self-esteem began to erode and I was no longer my best self.

I am still ME. I still want to feel good about myself. I still want to feel sexy. I still want to accomplish MY goals.

When I realized what had happened I started to change things in my life and with the help of my husband, I began to set aside some time for ME.

I was not overweight, but I felt so out of shape. I no longer felt like the athlete I have been my entire life.

So I started training like an athlete and quickly found out that getting back in shape in my 40s is not like it was in my 20s.

I need to start SLOW.
I need more recovery time.
I need more sleep.
I need patience.

I am not good at any of that.

So I’ve had injury after injury since January when I began my road back to ME.

I am just now getting a glimpse of progress from my efforts. I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I have learned that taking it slower is better.

I have also learned that the journey IS the reward. Goals help with motivation, but ultimately the reward is FEELING like myself again while giving these little souls, as well as my marriage and business, ? I have.

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